Confession #1- I made myself blind.

So, you know those eye exams that you get to determine whether or not you need glasses? Well, I faked mine. Screwed it up just so that I could get glasses. I was in the fifth grade, and my friend had glasses that were really nice looking. They just made her look smarter when she was wearing them, and I was kind of jealous. So, I developed a devious plan that could never fail.
I began by telling my mother that I was having a hard time seeing the chalkboard while I was in class. No parent is really going to argue with their child when it is affecting their ability to learn and become a prodigy- I think she still thought at that time that I was slightly more intelligent than average for some reason (which I really wasn't). So, she scheduled an eye appointment right away. I was nervous, because I was actually slightly surprised that it didn't take more than that for me to see the eye doctor, and that my mother believed me so easily. Actually, it kind of made me feel guilty until we walked into the Doctor's office and I saw them. There were hundreds and hundreds of glasses frames (AT LEAST).
From that point on, I was hooked to the plan. I had to make this work, and I had to keep it up. So, when the optometrist took me back for my exam- my hands were shaking by the way- I kept thinking to myself that anything that he told me to read, I needed to read wrong. Of course since I had never actually been to the eye doctor before, I didn't know how involved it really is, but I was prepared for anything.
He sat me down in a soft chair and began asking me to read the letters to him as he flipped different lenses in front of my eyes. That part seriously took at least forty-five minutes. I was worn out. It all paid off though. I knew it as soon as he gave that "look" to my mother. I was in. I had succeeded. I already had a pair of bright pink frames picked out, and my dream was finally coming true. I was going to be one of the cool kids in class with glasses.
When we got to the other side of the clinic- where they sell the glasses frames- I ran over to the frames of my dreams, and rushed them over to my mother. She shook her head and led me to a drawer with about three options; only one of which was actually for girls. I was devastated, but only for a couple of minutes. Why was I sad? I was still getting glasses! So, I happily accepted the salmon-colored wire framed glasses, and hugged my mother.
A couple days later, I went to school. In glasses. Even though I had perfect vision. Now- I'm blind as a freaking bat.