Confession #11- If zombies attacked, I probably wouldn't pick you to be on my team.

Okay, don't cry or anything, but in the case of the zombie apocalypse, I've got to think about my own survival here. I'm gonna say this, and only say it once- I don't think any of you would make the cut. It's not like I don't love you, or care about you, or blah, blah, blah, but let's face it- you just wouldn't make good teammates.
-------------------------------Zombie Dream Team-----------------------------------

Now, when zombies attack, your team needs a good leader. Someone who wouldn't crack under pressure or anything. Someone kind of like:

Yeah, I went there. I would pick Arnold. I know what you're thinking: "Oh, this girl is so cliche, and dumb, because Arnold ain't got nothing on no one." Okay people, see that's where you're wrong.

Big Biceps > Accent > Demanding Personality > You.
So, it would be really awesome if you would all still be my friends after this.

Next, you need some sidekick. You know, someone who will take all the blame and yelling and stuff. Kind of like:

Yeah, he's perfect for the job. You guys ever seen Holes? Or, you know, Disturbia? Or, you know, Transformers? This guy takes orders, and can think quick on his feet or whatever. He's also remarkably easy to pick on.

Next, you need someone to like be all: "I'm a damsel in distress and stuff," and be the first one to die when the zombies begin to catch up to us. You know kind of like bait or something. So, I think I choose:

 Yeah, she's pretty good at being helpless, and flailing her limbs around. You know, actually this might be a situation in which her bad acting really won't matter. Win-win for us all.

Next, you need the guy packing heat that makes reckless decisions, and is generally bad a** about everything he says and does. Oh, and he's gotta sweat a lot and have minor breakdowns that actually give him brilliant ideas. So, I think that position would be best filled by:

Yeah, he's been there before. I am Legend prepared him for zombie invasion part deux. Also, experience in aliens probably would help in this situation. And his love of dogs. I love dogs.

Next, you need the funny guy. Someone to help pass the time or whatever. Someone who is so dumb, you will be laughing for hours because you honestly feel sorry for him or something. Oh, and he's gotta be awkwardly skinny- adds to the appeal.

I think he's clearing his throat or something. Kind of looks like a bird choking. HILARIOUS.

Finally, you need the attractive one. Like, you know for when the world is cleared out and Arnold kills off all the zombies, and we are the only ones left? Yeah, someone to make repopulating the Earth fun. Kind of like:

Or even....

Or maybe.....

Oh....just kidding bout that last one. We will just feed him to the zombies. But really, out of the first two which ever has the time in their schedule. I know being movie stars and all, they're like really busy. Zombies or no zombies- it's whatever.

Anyway, so I mean, you're probably like: "BLAH BLAH WTF, why didn't you pick your family or loved ones or you know something like that?" Well, its simple. I can't repopulate the earth with my family. That's just gross. Also....okay yeah, that's it.



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