Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Confession #3- I can eat ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

You know, I really think I might need to get this checked out, because there is no way that one person needs to eat as much as I do. Many people opt to eat three meals during the day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Odd, because by the time you're eating lunch, I am on my fourth meal.
I don't know if it's quite possible to be "born for eating contests," but I really think I was. I can remember in sixth grade, when after one of our cross country meets, we decided to eat at CiCi's Pizza. (For those of you who have no idea what that is- it's a pizza buffet) My coach was just trying to be hip and fun, and she suggested that we have an eating contest; a pizza eating contest. So, we all piled up our plates with pizza, and waited for her signal to begin. Now, I probably should let you know, I weighed around sixty pounds in sixth grade- I was pretty underweight most of my life. As soon as my coach told us to begin, I was at it. Most girls stopped after three, four slices of pizza. I was still going. All eyes on me.
I ate my fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, and stopped to look around. Everyone's mouth was gaping, wide open, and I was holding half of my tenth slice. I took that as: Okay, we all lost a long time ago, would you stop already? So, I did. That's when I realized I must have the largest stomach in the world. From then on, I have tried to get full, and have never been successful. I can always eat more.
I decided to repeat that pizza eating contest here, and got to 32 slices. Okay people, let me clarify, I ate 32 slices of pizza in one sitting in one and a half hours. That's only because I was in a public place. I can always eat more.
Thanksgiving is always horrific for me, because most of my extended family is older. Well, elderly. So, we will all be sitting together in one room eating our food, and they will eat three bites and stop. My sister is the same way- three bites and stop. I really need to find a family that eats more than three bites and eat with them during the holidays, because it's embarrassing to be around a family like that when you are on plate six and never want to stop. I think I need help. 
Finally, I just want you to know if you see me staring at you while you're eating, it's just because I'm trying to figure out when you're going to be full. I need to use your social cues to know when to stop.

Oh yeah, this might be a bad time to put in a plug for a hot boyfriend but, hey, I'm available. Hit me up.

2 comments:

  1. I wish I was like that, I love to eat but get full way to quick.....and then you make fun of me for it.

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  2. You can enjoy Thanksgiving with me. We eat like 4 plates full lol

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